Love...What exactly does it mean?

What exactly does it mean to be in love?
Is it that you get everything you ask for?
Is it the centuries spent on the phone?
Is it the fact that he calls up all his friends to call you up on your birthday (sweet!!!)
Alright, I was also asked to call up a father on his birthday (by his son oo!)
Is it the countless sweet text messages you exchange?
Or the fact that he gets along with your sometimes difficult family!(That's really a plus!)
Pray tell me what it means to be in love?
How can you say you love me, then leave me?
No explanations you gave, only a guessing I did
Must be the way I talk,should have been more patient
Should not have sent that sms
Shouldn't have disclosed that secret
Guesses, guesses and more guesses
Should have known you didn't know the meaning of love
How else can I explain your question to me?
"How can you tell it was love"?
So what exactly did you mean when you told me you loved me?
So when did I go from being the loved to just one of the top ladies in your life?
ouch!! that really hurt, to think I loved you all that while, and all I was, was
a seasonal leading lady..
Anyways someone pray tell me what it means to love.

Who am I?

As she swaggered past me, I couldn't help the thoughts that came to me "Who does she even think she is?" then I tried to caution myself, "It's just my jealousy talking, or is it my envy?. " What has she got that I don't have?" in a feathery whisper it came to me "her youth?", "confidence?", it felt like a dagger through my heart. "Whatever went wrong?", "What did I do wrong?", my mind played back my past, the answer was "Many things", I did many things wrong, but the most important thing I did wrong, was not trusting God completely. I focused on getting things done my way, look good, talk good, feel good, be good! And when it didn't work, I bent a bit, bent some more, then almost lost it completely. Always said "I trust God", became my mantra at some point, I must have been paying lip service, because I am beginning to sound like a broken record, and yet it seems nothing is happening.

A friend of mine once said to me " Do you know you are like a lion, living amongst goats and trying to act like one of them?". I tried to imagine a lion bleating, skipping, chewing on grass, but I just couldn't conjure the image.

A lion is confident,
A lion does not skip,
it walks majestically.
A lion roars,
it doesn't bleat.

I have been bleating pitifully. Self righteously flirting with the Devil, handling sin with kid gloves, indulging unhealthy thoughts, yet having the audacity to ask God why? I need a complete turnaround.

She can swagger because she knows she is a lion. Though she may be among goats but she knows she's still a lion and lions have goats for supper. End of jealousy, end of envy, I know who I am, I know what I should be and do, but the big question is will I do it?